Murder in the Chicken Yard

Ok, so today was going much too smoothly for me not to be suspicious...

All 130+ animals were on their feet and healthy...it hadn't started raining yet (for the first time in what seems like a decade)...and my breakfast had consisted of more than just a box of Milk Duds and a flat Sprite.  Life was good!

I did morning chores, checked emails, then started working on Shepherdess Bath & Body orders.  Life was still good until...

Buddy, our latest rescue dog (a long-haired Dachshund) decided the floor in the entryway resembled a fire hydrant.  When I picked him up to put him outside he decided I too looked alot like a fire hydrant.  Not usually one to let minor things "dampen" my mood, I washed up, changed clothes then continued working on my orders.

The day went by quickly and quietly and I felt I had accomplished more than usual.  Life was still good until I went out to do chores...

About 100 feet from the house and behind the grain trailer I saw an exorbitant amount of feathers. At first I thought it was the result of a chicken squabble.  Then I started seeing chicken parts.  As the old commercial used to say, "Parts is Parts" but it takes on a whole new meaning when you have a personal relationship with the chicken whose parts you are looking at.  In case you don't already know, I have a hard time killing a bug so killing one of my chickens, or seeing them dead and dismembered is quite a shock to my psyche.

Fluffy Butt had been brutally murdered!  Not just strangled or pecked to death but taken apart piece by piece (all "outer" pieces but 1 foot were missing ).  Molly, our Livestock Guard Dog had no blood on her white fur and she has always been very protective of her birds so, after questioning her, I ruled her out.  It was daylight so there would not typically be marauding raccoons to contend with (and Molly would have killed a raccoon anyways).

I asked the 5 remaining chickens what happened but none of them would make even a peep...

So, who killed Fluffy Butt?  Oh, now don't say the other chickens ganged up on her because of her name.  None of them have names that are stellar either: Flo the Fabulous Fat Chicken, Chicken Pox...need I say more?

The plot further thickens now that 1 of my Guineas, a Pied Hen, is missing this evening--no parts strewn around for all to see though--not even  a stray feather. I suspect Alien Guinea Abduction. I've read about it...

As for Fluffy Butt, I think my next line of questioning will be to the Colonel himself.  Does anyone know the phone number for KFC Headquarters?

P.S. To answer a few questions posed to me about this blog post...
       1)Yes, this really happened
       2)Yes, I am very, very sad it did happen--Fluffy Butt was my favorite chicken girlfriend.
       3)I don't always eat Milk Duds for breakfast, sometimes I eat Malted Milk Balls.
       4)I wrote this in a humorous fashion for a reason, if I didn't laugh, I'd cry...


Jackie Deems
Shepherdess Blog
Copyright 2011

Just A Shepherdess...

Greetings:

I have wanted to write a blog for quite some time but, since I take care of a small (30 acre) farm, a very old house and almost 140 animals--oh I also have an internet business too--time slips away much more quickly than I like.

I raise 2 breeds of miniature wool sheep, hence the name Shepherdess, and also rescue cats, dogs, goats, and whatever comes my way that I can physically and financially handle.  My husband and I started our livestock experience by raising and rescuing Llamas and were involved with Llamas for 12 years.  Llamas are large animals--not as large as horses and cows--but, for one person to handle alone they can become very large animals very quickly.  The mini sheep are a "doable" alternative for me and I can most often handle a 70-90 pound animal alone.

I find myself among the minority in regards to my shepherding "values".  Since I was not raised on a farm and, have been rescuing some sort of animal most of my life, I do not eat my wool sheep or sell them to those who will eat them or have them slaughtered. I understand that many people who raise sheep do so for meat.  It's just not in me to be aligned with the majority when it comes to seeing my sheep as meat.  I see them as friends and they all have names.

So here you have it, my first official blog. 

Shepherdess