All 130+ animals were on their feet and healthy...it hadn't started raining yet (for the first time in what seems like a decade)...and my breakfast had consisted of more than just a box of Milk Duds and a flat Sprite. Life was good!
I did morning chores, checked emails, then started working on Shepherdess Bath & Body orders. Life was still good until...
Buddy, our latest rescue dog (a long-haired Dachshund) decided the floor in the entryway resembled a fire hydrant. When I picked him up to put him outside he decided I too looked alot like a fire hydrant. Not usually one to let minor things "dampen" my mood, I washed up, changed clothes then continued working on my orders.
The day went by quickly and quietly and I felt I had accomplished more than usual. Life was still good until I went out to do chores...
About 100 feet from the house and behind the grain trailer I saw an exorbitant amount of feathers. At first I thought it was the result of a chicken squabble. Then I started seeing chicken parts. As the old commercial used to say, "Parts is Parts" but it takes on a whole new meaning when you have a personal relationship with the chicken whose parts you are looking at. In case you don't already know, I have a hard time killing a bug so killing one of my chickens, or seeing them dead and dismembered is quite a shock to my psyche.
Fluffy Butt had been brutally murdered! Not just strangled or pecked to death but taken apart piece by piece (all "outer" pieces but 1 foot were missing ). Molly, our Livestock Guard Dog had no blood on her white fur and she has always been very protective of her birds so, after questioning her, I ruled her out. It was daylight so there would not typically be marauding raccoons to contend with (and Molly would have killed a raccoon anyways).
I asked the 5 remaining chickens what happened but none of them would make even a peep...
So, who killed Fluffy Butt? Oh, now don't say the other chickens ganged up on her because of her name. None of them have names that are stellar either: Flo the Fabulous Fat Chicken, Chicken Pox...need I say more?
The plot further thickens now that 1 of my Guineas, a Pied Hen, is missing this evening--no parts strewn around for all to see though--not even a stray feather. I suspect Alien Guinea Abduction. I've read about it...
As for Fluffy Butt, I think my next line of questioning will be to the Colonel himself. Does anyone know the phone number for KFC Headquarters?
P.S. To answer a few questions posed to me about this blog post...
1)Yes, this really happened
2)Yes, I am very, very sad it did happen--Fluffy Butt was my favorite chicken girlfriend.
3)I don't always eat Milk Duds for breakfast, sometimes I eat Malted Milk Balls.
4)I wrote this in a humorous fashion for a reason, if I didn't laugh, I'd cry...
Jackie Deems
Shepherdess Blog
Copyright 2011
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