Just When Did I get "Old"?

                                                            My 90-year-old mom

Don't ever ask a young child how old they think you are...

I recently spent time with a friend's young grandchildren and was amused by some of their questions. 

  

Them: Why are your teeth not very white?  

Me: They're old and the over the counter whiteners don't 
work well for me.  

Them: Did you know some of your teeth are gold?   

Me: Yes, that's how they used to fill teeth back in the pioneer days. 

 Them: What are those brown spots on your face?   

Me: They're called age spots.  They are there because I am old.

Them: How old are you? This question is usually better answered by the person being asked because these particular children think I am probably about 103.

I get it.  I have opted not to continue dyeing my hair so it's grayish/whitish/whatever.  When I was a young girl I remember thinking my next door neighbor, Mrs. Heinold,  was at least 
150-years-old because she had grayish/whitish/whatever hair too. 

I also remember a conversation several years ago with a woman well into her 80's.  She told me she had gotten quite a surprise when she looked in the mirror that morning, "I was shocked to see an old woman staring back from the mirror and I wondered just when did I get old?  Inside I still feel like a girl of 18.  I guess that's because the Spirit never ages so you always feel like you're still young regardless of what the mirror reflects."

As I thought back to both conversations I realized that getting "old" is a privilege not a right.  We somehow seem to take it for granted that we will live to be old even though we know many who die too young like my son, Richie, who only lived to be 20-months-old or my nephew, Phillip, who died unexpectedly at the age of 24.  

I am reminded of the 70's commercial for hair color that said, "You're not getting older you're getting better".  And I wonder if I am really getting better or if am I just getting older? Good question.

I hope I am becoming a better person the older I get.  I also hope that some of the life lessons--these things I've learned--may be helpful to others regardless of their age...

Life isn't fair.  It's just not.

No one else is responsible for your happiness but you.

Being kind to others doesn't cost a thing.

Possessions can't make you deep down to the soul happy.

Common sense is really not so common.

No one can fulfill all your needs and you can't fulfill all of
 someone else's needs either.

Work is called work for a reason. Many people don't like their jobs or some part of their jobs.  That's life.

If you don't forgive others, you can't live your life 
to the fullest.

Allow yourself and others to be imperfect and make mistakes because no one is perfect.  No one.  Even you.

No matter what you say or do, there is always someone 

who will find fault or disagree with you.

Standing up for what you believe in can be hard, 

especially if you're standing alone. Keep standing any ways.

If you make a promise keep it.  If you can't keep it, 
explain why.

The customer isn't always right.  Nobody is.

Forgive people for the dumb things they say to you and hope they forgive you for the dumb things you say to them too.

Some of the toughest looking people have the 

most tender of hearts.
Don't let pride get in the way of saying you're sorry.

Admit when you're wrong. 
Always say "please" and "thank you".
You don't have to say everything you are thinking out loud.

Everyone is here for a reason at this moment, this place, this time. Find out what your reason is, embrace it and run with it.

Honesty is truly the best policy and it's easier to swallow with a spoonful of sugar. 

Don't take yourself too seriously.  Learn to laugh at yourself--often and loudly.

People will disappoint you and you will disappoint them.   

Get over it and move on.

There will always be someone who is: younger, thinner, 

better looking, richer, smarter, etc. than you so just be 

the best you there is.

Happiness is a choice you make every moment of each day.

Judging others says more about you than it says about them.

Even in the darkest moments there is always  
something to be thankful for. 

You can always find something to compliment others about no matter who they are, no matter what they look like. 

Not everyone will be your best friend or biggest fan and 
that's okay.

Time does not heal all wounds but it can soften them 
and make them more bearable.

People will gossip about you no matter who you are or how hard you try.  Shake it off and go on with your life.

 Raise your children to be loving, caring, responsible, compassionate people then let them go and 
have their own lives.

Treat others how you want to be treated. 
Don't expect others to be as passionate about your 
passions as you are unless it's their passion too.

Love matures and changes over time but that's okay, it's still love.

Many folks who say they want you to tell them the truth really just want you to agree with what they think the truth is.

 The only constant about life is that it always changes. 

Sooner or later, everyone and everything that 
draws breath dies. 

There are many, many people in this world 

who would absolutely love and appreciate the life you have.

You never really know what someone else is going through--what personal demons they are fighting.  Some people who have been hurt the most wear the biggest smiles. 

Be more concerned about who you are than what you have.

It's better to have a handful of true friends than a room filled

 with fair weather "friends". 

You and only you are responsible for the choices you make.
Don't judge a book by its cover, take the time to 
open it up and read it. 

Some broken relationships cannot and should not be mended.

Continually living in the past only robs you of your 
present and future happiness.
The older we get, the less we are concerned about what
others think of us.

Laughter is the best medicine for the soul--that and love.

Forgive others even if they don't apologize.
Worry is a huge waste of time and energy.  It just is.
 The grass is only greener on the other side until 
you've been there for a while. 
Even the most broken of hearts can be mended. 

 Doing the best you can do is good enough.

Don't be afraid to dream big no matter what others say.

Those who die with the most toys lose if that's all they 

have to show for their time on earth. 

The best things in life truly are free.

  Every day, every moment is a gift from God

 that you will never have again so 
live each day to the fullest. 

Shepherdess Blog

Copyright 2018

Jackie Deems

What Will I Miss?

What will I miss when I am gone?

The exquisite beauty of a sunrise

Lightning Bugs in the Summer Sky

The haunting call of a Mourning Dove

Autumn's magnificent splendor

The sun kissing my upturned face

A child's laughter

What will I miss when I am gone?

The sound of rain on the roof

A friend's hug

The tart sweetness of a caramel apple

Laughing so hard I cry

The first songbird of Spring

Purring and kneading

What will I miss when I am gone?

The sound of crickets in the wee hours

Eating Wild Blackberries straight from the bush

The comforting words of a friend

Burying my face in blooming lilacs

The soft grass under my bare feet

Magnificently painted sunset skies

What will I miss when I am gone?

The silent beauty of snow covered hills 

Unexpected kindness

The smell of linens fresh from the clothesline

Being still

The feeling of sand between my toes

 Watching a baby sleep

What will I miss when I am gone?

 The sound of a loved one's voice

A kiss on the cheek

The smell of fresh-baked bread

Sitting in the dark with the Christmas lights on

The crashing of ocean waves

A wet nose and wagging tail 

What will I miss when I am gone?

The brilliance of a full moon

Hot chocolate with marshmallows

The chiming of an old clock

Walking in the woods

The comfortable silence between dear friends

Precious memories of my son

All these things and more I will miss when I am gone,

but only for that brief moment...

before I see my Father's Face.

Shepherdess Blog

Copyright 2018

Jackie Deems

The Last Cat

Mr. Riley's favorite cat, Grandma

The first time I saw Mr. Riley (name has been changed) he was dragging an oxygen tank slowly, deliberately, as he walked the roads of our village stopping every few feet to catch his breath.  This frail, bone thin man smiled a toothless grin as he refused a ride home from me. I made it a point to find out where he lived.

I couldn't stop thinking about Mr. Riley and later that week I stopped by his home for a visit. The broken concrete back steps of his house were littered with all types of food in waxed cardboard trays--everything from peas to rice to some kind of unrecognizable meat (I think). He was an obvious recipient of a Meals on Wheels type of program.

Why was the food provided to him on the broken steps?  One look at him made it abundantly clear he needed that food.  I knocked on the door and when he answered he explained that the food was for the many stray cats in the village.  He couldn't afford to buy cat food so he shared the little bit of food he had with the hungry cats. 

Though I barely had enough money to feed my own rescue cats, I knew I had to find a way to help him feed his.  He accepted bags of food (reluctantly at first) but as he became more comfortable with me he was appreciative of any help I could give him, swallowing his pride to help his cats.

It wasn't long before Mr. Riley was calling me for help to get some of the cats he fed off the streets.  He worried about them and fretted they would be hit on the road or poisoned by cruel cat hating village residents.  Though they were feral cats, caring for them--even from afar--gave him purpose and a reason to get up each morning.  Talking about them put a smile on his worn face.

Mr. Riley had been widowed several years earlier and his beloved wife loved cats. His nickname for her was Kitty. When he invited me into his home, the walls were adorned with cat pictures.  I suspect he hadn't moved a thing in the house since his wife died as a way to keep his memories of her even more alive. He'd even made a pallet on the living room floor to sleep on, he couldn't stand to sleep in the same bed alone he'd shared with his wife.

Visiting Mr. Riley in his home was a double edged sword; it was truly an honor he bestowed on few people but he chain-smoked and used an oxygen tank full-time.  I was understandably uneasy to stay in his house long and each time he lit a match I silently prayed for our safety.  I love cats, don't get me wrong, I just wasn't sure I wanted to die because of them.

I heard through the village grapevine Mr. Riley had recently been diagnosed with Lung Cancer. He already had Emphysema and I wasn't sure how long he'd be able to live in his home alone.  I also knew he was very worried to leave his cats behind since he thought no one else would feed, care for or love them.

About 2 years after I met Mr. Riley I received a phone call from his son-in-law telling me he'd been taken by squad to the hospital.  Mr. Riley told his son-in-law to call me and ask me to feed his cats until he came home, which I gladly did.

The next phone call I got from the son-in-law was grave. Not only was Mr. Riley not coming home, he was also not long for this earth.  I was surprised at the lump in my throat and the uncontrollable tears that flowed when I heard the news. I realized in that moment that Mr. Riley and I were truly kindred spirits.  Though we couldn't have been more unlike each other, this frail man had a lion's heart and unwavering love and compassion for helpless creatures.  He was a rare unexpected find, indeed.

Mr. Riley also rekindled a hope I had unknowingly lost over the many years I've been rescuing--a hope that there were others who cared deeply about people and animals in need--a hope that kindness was not just a word but an everyday way of life.

As a rescuer you most often see the worst in people--abuse, neglect, hatred, cruelty--people who wouldn't give a starving animal a crumb of food if you paid them.  But once in a while you come across a Mr. Riley who would give hungry animals his own food--even his very last crumb. 

And I also learned from my time with Mr. Riley that rescue is not always just about helping the animals, it's about helping people too.  The commonality of love for animals builds a bridge to some closed off hearts otherwise impossible to reach. Many times these hearts and souls were hurt horribly by people so they find a home--a safe place--in loving, nurturing and caring for animals.

When I got the call Mr. Riley would not be coming home I prayed God would help me achieve one last thing for him.  I wanted to be able to call Mr. Riley and tell him I had gotten all his cats safely into my rescue--22 in all--before he passed away.

After 2 weeks of live trapping all times of the day and night I got every one of his cats into my rescue and I was thrilled to finally make the call to tell Mr. Riley all his cats were safe.  I hoped it wasn't too late.

Though he didn't have the breath to talk on the phone, Mr. Riley's son-in-law told him all his cats were off the streets. Mr. Riley mouthed the words,  "Did she get grandma" (his first and favorite cat).  She was the last cat I had caught--watching all the other cats enter the live trap--eluding capture until the very end. 

When he heard even grandma was safe his son-in-law told me Mr. Riley smiled bigger than he'd seen him smile for a very, very long time--the way he used to smile when Kitty was still with him. Then he sighed deeply, his frail frame relaxing.  His cats were safe in my care.  His work was done.  He could go peacefully.

Two weeks later Mr. Riley passed away and was finally reunited forever with his beloved wife Kitty.

Shepherdess Blog

Copyright 2018
Jackie Deems